yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She is in my trunk
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
