who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
