her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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