I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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