Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
