Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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