I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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