i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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