Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
