I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
