My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
