If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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