Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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