i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
