I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
