It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I intend to get homeless drunk
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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