having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Randomize
