I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
