I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
