So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
