If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
