Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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