it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
