I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
