I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
