It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
