so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize