You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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