found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
