STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
