I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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