Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
