Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize