mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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