girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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