We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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