i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
