why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Vodka?
Forever.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
