Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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