some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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