Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
