He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
