Ketchup is God's man juice
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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