Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
