i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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