How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
