my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
