Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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