hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
