you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
