But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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