Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
