You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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