Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
