Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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