hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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