Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
