actually, I'm a sock model
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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