No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
