if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
