Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I didn't notice because vodka
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
