Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
