you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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