so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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