Don't you send me to vm
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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