so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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