dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
